Shanon’s Blog

At this time yesterday my hair was a very basic brunette with blonde highlights. Now it is 4 different colors. There’s the natural brunette, a little tad bit of blonde highlights, lowlights, and red streaks. Its way darker than I expected it to come out…especially since I thought I was going in for the same highlights since it covers up my gray better. I think I’m still a little in shock and Kelli said that it will fade quite a bit over the next week and a half or so. She likes it, her husband likes it, Keith likes it…I’m hoping everyone else does, too. The way she did it is very pretty…I just feel like it’s kind of wasted on my head.

I’m pretty excited about today because the new Alicia Keys CD comes out next week. I love that song “No One.” And in my current state of funk I’m listening to Kelly Clarkson’s “Maybe” over and over and over. I know that some people aren’t Kelly fans and I know that some people especially don’t like the new CD, but this song just hits me. I know that I can be difficult. That’s with everyone in life, not just whoever I’m dating at the time. Sometimes I feel genuinely bad for the people around me because I can be that hard to put up with.

But that’s just sometimes. What about all the other times when I’m not a royal pain in the butt? Don’t those times make it worth it? I really don’t know how to answer that question. I’m probably better off not knowing the answer to that question because it would either upset me or give me a big head. Man I’m a mess.

Haley and Jessa called me last night while I was getting my hair done and asked if I could maybe come visit them this summer. Hopefully I will be able to do that.

I’ve got a whole lotta nothing I can write about. I’m so consumed by my personal junk that’s too specific to write about on here to have much else. I’m trying to learn to back off and give it time, but it’s hard. I’m that person who would rather talk something to death and try and fix it than just back away and see what happens. I can be very out of sight out of mind and I’m worried that I’m so easily forgettable that time will allow people to forget about me and just move on like I never even existed. I know I have to learn to get over that, but it’s hard for me. I should just suck it up and go back to stupid therapy. I don’t want to, I don’t want to take the time or the money to go, but maybe I need to. Especially now that the holidays are up on us and I always struggle at this time of year anyways.