Just nothing
November 7, 2007 at 3:34 pm | In Uncategorized | 5 CommentsI was in bed at 8:30 last night. I figured I’m sleepy, my roommate’s not even returning my texts, so why not? I made sure the TIVO was set to record Nip/Tuck or the Real Housewives of Orange County and headed to sleep. I’ve started letting Oprah sleep with me at night to help keep me warm, but she’s not very good at it. If she can’t lay on top of me, she wants no part of me. So I have to weigh the options. Wake up with a bloody nose because I turned on the heater or suck it up, wrap myself up as much as I can in my covers, and try and fall asleep during that short period of time when I’m warm.
I did take my sister and her boyfriend to dinner last night because she stopped by my apartment on her way home from school and I hadn’t eaten since my cereal at four that morning, so we went to On The Border. I can never hold that food down, so I don’t know why I bother. Sure enough I got sicker than a really sick person as soon as my sister left my apartment. It’s a mixture of my eating issues and nerves and other stuff. I tried really hard not to let it happen, but it did. I get this way whenever I feel like things are out of control for me and I surely feel that way right now. I guess dealing with a break up that I’m apparently too dumb to understand will make a person feel that way.
I got a lot done yesterday. Outside of watching Hannah Mantanna videos and editing Love Letters to Kellie, I opened up a very small second bank account. After JC’s debit card got stolen and that person drained his account, I freaked out some. I’d rather use a debit card with very little money in the account than put all my eggs in one basket. This account has an embarrassingly small balance in it, but that’s how I want it. I also went grocery shopping for the basics…cereal, soy milk, pop tarts, and salad.
I don’t know why I went shopping because I get hungry like once a day and my refrigerator freezes my salad and when I do want a snack it’s a piece of cheese…so why bother blowing $32 at Tom Thumb? I dunno. It was something to do on the first Tuesday I’ve spent alone in a little while.
I so want to go shopping for a 4 door Jeep, but I know that if I do I will fall into a deeper funk because I have no business buying one, I can’t afford one, I can’t afford the gas, but it would make me so happy. It’s the end of the year, my car is worth more than I owe…it makes sense to suck it up and do it. But gas is getting expensive again and I don’t want to end up pushing that bad boy down the street. So I should just do what I did yesterday and go home, lock myself in my room, and not come out until I have a reason to. Maybe I’ll be able to take a nap today. I’m just scattered and rambling, so I will shut up now.
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Shannon you are so great! I read your blogs every day and love keeping up with you through those…and you are awesome on the KKITM show. You are so funny!!
Try to stay positive…things don’t work out for a reason…break-ups do suck though so I’m sorry to read that you are down and out. I hope things get better for you! Wishing you the best always,
Tasha
Comment by Tasha — November 7, 2007 #
You won’t get a bloody nose if you use a vaporizer at night, it will put some moisture in the air so your nose doesn’t dry out. They are wonderful, I had to use one for my daughter for the same reason.
P.S. I don’t think you’re crazy at all! It’s about time someone actually talked about real issues that are going on in their lives and trying to figure them out on your own, I just thought that was part of life. Just have faith and know that everything happens for a reason. It will all work out just fine.
Comment by Cristy — November 7, 2007 #
I love you Shanon, so smile!!!
Comment by Vanessa — November 7, 2007 #
Shannon,
I do ALOT of the same things as you. Whenever I went through a break up, or something to that effect, I would just hole up in my apartment and drink a bottle of wine and fall asleep (pass out), get up in the morning, go to work, come home and do it all over again. My funks got so bad my jobs tended to suffer as I would not even go to work because I physically felt that I couldnt. I truely lived much of my life like this – in and out of funks. I tried therapy, medication – everything. I will tell you what helped me – and if this sounds totally corny, I apologize – I found Christ. Not right away, but I started attending church and I would look around at all the people that just looked so at peace and I though that is what I want PEACE. I set up a meeting with the women’s minisrty leader at the church and she really laid it all out for me – answered all my questions. Do I have to TOTALLY change certain aspects of my life to be a Christian – NO, God loves you just as you ARE. I was actually baptized last weekend and, dont get me wrong, it is NOT the miracle cure but I things are looking up. It is nice sometimes in a crazy world to know that there is something out there WAY bigger than me and that there is someone out there that loves me UNCONDITIONALLY. Everyone deserves that. Ok, I am done now. I am seriously not trying to be preachy or pushy – just wanted you to know what worked for me. No matter what you choose to do, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care!
Comment by Dana — November 7, 2007 #
Hey, Shanon I hope you feel better!
On the subject of a four door jeep I have one for sale. It’s a 94 Grand Cherokee with four wheel drive. I just put in a new transmission. It’s Black with gold trim. If your interested I can send you pictures.
Hope to hear from you and I hope you feel better.
Love hearing you on the radio.
Comment by robert — November 9, 2007 #