Shanon’s Blog

So last night was the flag football game and I would love to say that I was the MVP or that I even made a minute difference in the game, but I didn’t. I just showed up. I mean there was one time when I almost got some guys flag off of his hip when they were less than ten yards out, but that’s as much as I did. I’d love to say that I made the football clothes and taped pockets and receiving gloves look good, but I didn’t. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that JC hates me and doesn’t want me to be better than he is at football. That’s why he made me the letter D in the playbook…the one that runs forward and left every single play. I think the other team knew I wasn’t going to get the ball because I was wide open every single time I ran, but never got the ball. I thought that maybe if I yelled “I’m open” and threw my arms around in the air they would see that I was open. I even remembered to turn around and wait for them to throw the ball to me. But they didn’t. I’m not bitter…or maybe I am. I mean in tackle football I got to be the captain last week. Was I the pity captain? I tried out for the women’s professional football team a few years ago. I mean I went and did a lot of the tryout. But then it started raining, so I left. So you’d think that maybe I’d be a good candidate to give the ball to maybe once. But I think I’m the only one who thinks this.

All of these things really did go through my head, but I did have a lot of fun standing on the sidelines cheering for my teammates. They really did a fantastic job kicking the other teams butt. JC is amazing and Sunny J is, too. Al was a no show because he hasn’t felt good. Fletch was a no show, too. I am a little bitter about that. Here I am all excited because I helped us get enough guys and then they don’t show up. Boo them.

I do hope that I’m worthy of touching the ball at least once this season, but I’m just going to have fun running in circles looking like a moron on the field in the meantime. And if they never give me the ball I’ll just say that it’s because I’m too short and they can’t see that I’m open. Luckily there is a tournament softball team that might call me to play if and when they need me and I plan on getting on a regular league. I’m on the road to hotness.

After football I stopped by for my friend Vio’s birthday party. I drank water and left within an hour because I’m tired. I didn’t leave before knocking it out of the park with some “Baby Got Back” karaoke. In my opinion I knocked it out of the ballpark. In everyone else’s opinion an ounce of cheering or clapping might have been too over stimulating for me. At least that’s the theory I’m gonna go with. I don’t think I did that bad. I rapped most of the song and I even did a little sexy dancing. But I don’t think they got it or saw how energetic I was that late at night and didn’t want to add to it. I love a considerate crowd. Maybe JC could take a lesson from the considerate people of the world and keep that in mind next time we play flag football. He’s the coach. That’s why I blame him for my bitter feelings.

What’s going on this weekend, you ask? Well, I’m designated driver. Tonight we’re going to the batting cages. Tomorrow Marni’s coming over to my apartment and we’re carpooling to football, the BWW, and then the bar together. She’s my new BFF. I met up with her and her kiddos last night for dinner and to watch Kathy Corbin and Bella sing. They’re pretty amazing singers and even though I’ve seen them 57 times I still like going to check them out. Keith is sick and Michelle is in Scottsdale, so I might be a little lonely at times. But that’s OK because I’m on good behavior and I’m excited about it. My friend Mo told me last night that I can go to Velocity, a new training facility that the big athletes like T.O use and she will help get me hot by the summertime. So take out the calories from alcohol and a mad workout routine and I got this. I got it. I got it. I got it.

Things are good for me right now except that JC is out to ruin my football career by not letting me play. It’s OK. What goes around comes around. (JC- I’m kidding. You know I love you).