Shanon’s Blog

My birthday has come and gone and I don’t really know how I feel about it. I’m happy because it was a pretty good day. It was very simple. My mom, nieces and nephew, sister, Keith, Jaron, Squirt and B all came to the studio to give us cake and gifts during the show. Casey had warm cookies delivered along with a giant bag of milk. Squirt made cookies and put them in a Frisbee as a plate and wrote my number, 6, on the inside. Very thoughtful.

Then I went home at about 1:30 and took a nap on my heating pad. It was a much needed nap and the heating pad was necessary because mother-nature decided to pay me an early, stress induced visit. Gotta love that. So I’ve spent every night this week on my heating pad and one night I apparently turned up the heat and left a big burn mark on my back. It’s ok now, but it hurt when I got up. I swore up until the moment I realized why my back was hurting me that it was the leftover pain from Keith trying to kill me on that stupid tube. But, come to find out, and luckily for him, it wasn’t.

I realized on my birthday that I’m still completely blessed to have my friends in my life. Keith is a saint for dealing with me so well, especially lately. I think I’ve been kind of stir crazy because we saw a lot of eachother last week when I was on vacation. So it was wake up and we were both at home. Go to bed and we’re both there. He works from home now, so when I’m home, he’s home. And when he’s home, I’m home. It’s a little much to bear for me sometimes and instead of just going in my room and being alone I am mean. Or just flat out silent. I really think that if I were him I would’ve broken my lease by now, but he manages to stick with it. Maybe it’s out of necessity because neither of us are exactly loaded.

My personal life has kind of gone into a total tail spin in the past couple of weeks and I’m sure that’s not helping, either. My older sister is back with my mom and dad and my nieces and nephew are a part of our lives again. I would never say that the kiddos are a bad thing in any way…it’s just different. I love those kids like my own, but we’ve grown so distant given the circumstances that it’s hard to readjust and jump back into the swing of it all. I’m not complaining AT ALL. I’m simply saying that things have changed. Then you throw in the break up and all the people that it seems I’ve lost and I think I’m trying my best to be numb. In my opinion numb is the worst feeling possible. I’d rather be a blubbering mess than not feel. I truly think that a part of me has shut down and I have to find a way to bring that part back to life.

I’m going to do that with my friends and family. These next couple of weekends have the potential to be fantastic. Tomorrow I’m taking my Pee Paw fishing on my boat. Then I go home to get cleaned up and it’s off to bingo. I’m so excited about this. I’ll probably crash at J-Si or Casey’s apartment because I just want to be crazy with no worries. Next weekend is another house party and then Kathy Griffin on Saturday night. I don’t have a date, so Josh who works here on the show is taking my second ticket and is going to be the official designated driver. I LOVE Kathy Griffin and would be content going alone, but I’ve got a fun group to hang out with and I seriously am pumped.

So, we will make sure to take lots of pictures at bingo tomorrow and then of the night out when it’s over. Wish us safety and fun…