Shanon’s Blog

WOW what a weekend. My birthday month celebration went in full swing this weekend. Sort of. Friday I just passed out as soon as I got home. I meant to take a little nap, but I hit snooze for 3 hours solid. So my day was a bust. I got up to clean my apartment because I’ve not cared enough to do it for a couple of weeks. I mean you can ask anyone who knows me and has been to my apartment. it’s never immaculate, but I wouldn’t feel disgusted eating here or feel like I needed a shower after I walked out my door. But my brain has been in such a funk lately I just didn’t care. I still didn’t do that great of a job, but it’s disinfected and vacuumed and dusted…much better. I did get up and met friends for dinner and then went and people watched for a while. It was nothing wild or crazy. Just something to do. 

I meant to take it easy on Friday night because Pee Paw and I were gonna go fishing bright and early on Saturday morning. I set my alarm for 8AM and I was up by 8:01. I went and got Pee Paw. We loaded up the boat. We went to the bait shop and bought 3 dozen minnows. We get the boat in the lake and head to the bridge to fish. We get about 100 yards from where we wanted to be and I look back and there’s smoke coming out of my boat engine. I swear I thought it was on fire. I had the fire extinguisher in my hand and was ready to spray. Let’s put it this way. There was enough smoke coming out of it that every other boat in the area came over to rescue us. It turns out that it wasn’t on fire. I managed to break a belt and that caused the engine to overheat and let to lots of smoke. The feeling if being towed to shore by a God send in another boat is awful. It’s kind of like you’re the loser in the piece of crap boat that can’t even run long enough to get to the stupid bridge so you can fish with your Pee Paw. I’m very lucky that it is just a broken belt and that’s all of like $30 to fix. It’s funny because after my dad heard about the boat disaster he decided that I didn’t need a wake board for my birthday…I needed a professional tool set instead. Now I’m the proud owner of sockets and wrenches and screwdrivers. So now if I break another belt I will have the stuff I need to fix it then and there. I bought a jump starter for the battery last weekend because I’m a moron and never turn everything off and always manage to kill the battery. So now I have a way to make it start when I kill it.

After the lake I had to get geared up for a HUGE birthday night out. I tried to take a nap, but couldn’t sleep. So I showered and went over to my mom and dad’s house to get my car back from my baby sister. My mom and dad were going to go with us to Gay Bingo, so they followed me to the Rose Room. I think it was a little overwhelming. Gay bingo is a whole different kind of experience. I was happy that my parents went to be a part of the celebration, but I didn’t really know how to prepare them for what they would see. So as soon as we get to the door…not even inside the door…there;s a guy in leather underwear only walking outside. All I could think was oh my goodness. We got inside to the area they had reserved for us and it was a full view of everything going on around us. Guys dressed like girls…many in short dresses and no underwear underneath. My dad just kinda hung out and watched us play bingo. They met all of the friends who were able to make it and a lot of my co-workers. I think they had fun in the end…but I was nervous for them the whole time.

It was interesting, to say the least. I made $238 as a part of the celebration. Most of it was from “tips” I earned doing a special birthday dance. Here’s the thing and it might be TMI. Get ready. But I don’t like to wear underwear anymore. So last night I went commando, not knowing that people would be stuffing bills down my pants. And somehow and handful of those bills ended up in the last place I ever wanted them to go. So disgusting. And having to reach down into my pants and pull the bills out of my crotch was awkward. Mom and dad must have been so proud. Uncle Daddy ended up on stage for some reason and took his shirt off. They tried to get Kinsey to do the same. JC had no shame in showing off his stuff, It was a very interesting night. But a blast. 

We went over to this new restaurant to eat and sober up some ad guess who was there…Jeremy from the Bachelorette. I think he likes him a little Kellie Rasberry. They talked for a while and then I was able to shake his hand and tell him how horrible I felt when he tried to win Deanna back in the Bahamas. I was nervous talking to him, so I went back to the table until he was walking out and then I got a picture with him. He even picked me up. That’s a bad feeling, too, because I’m sure the words “fat ass” were going through his head. Ugh. I don’t want to think about it anymore. 

Today has been lazy day to recover. I’m not hungover or anything, just so sleepy. I tried to take a nap again, but failed again. So now I’m being a bum watching the Denise Richards show and typing this.

Tomorrow night is the premiere of Joe and Slade Date My Ex on Bravo. I’m so excited. i set the season pass up for my TIVO today. I wont be home to watch it live tomorrow because I’m going to watch kickball. Chelsea is going to show me how to do this fantasy football thing, too. That should be fun.

The birthday month celebration continues next weekend! I’m pretty excited. It’s a house party and a day of another birthday party, a special festival at my favorite bar, and Kathy Griffin that night. It’s gonna be a blast!