Shanon’s Blog

It’s been so crazy, insane busy lately. Last week was full of getting ready for Kidd’s Kids Day which is this Thursday. It’s the one day of the year where we ask for your help to send a plane full of chronically and terminally ill kids and their families to Disney World. I’ve met four of the families going on the trip this year and they are all so deserving, so please listen on Thursday and give whatever you can. If it’s a dollar or five…whatever it is, it makes a difference. When we look at the breakdown of donations every year, it’s the small donations that add up to make the trip so successful. So please go to kiddskids.com to find out about all the ways to donate. I promise you it’s a great way to spend your money, especially when you’re having to consider where every dollar is going. This is a good way to spend it. And you can even win a trip to Disney World by helping us. Just go to yourcause.com and set up your page now!

I think I had a tragic kickball injury last night that has resulted in my limping around and looking like I’m touching myself inappropriately all morning long. And last night during the game. I was like 5^th on the roster, so it was at the very beginning of the game. My first kick. I got it off the ground and right into the hands of the third baseman. So it wasn’t even a single. My poor groin.

I did start hitting the gym again on Sunday because I seriously didn’t have time but one day last week and I swear it turned my world upside down. I’ve never been in a bad mood for as many days with no break in between as I was last week. I guess maybe my routine was out of whack and my endorphins took a week long nap or something.  I don’t know.But I feel bad for Keith and Michelle, especially. I don’t think I said but maybe two words to Keith all week and then poor Michelle. I don’t even know what to say. So I will give an honest, sincere apology to both of them now on top of the ones I’ve already given.

To add to the stress of it all, my pregnant little sister went on bed rest after bleeding and cramping all day on Friday. Like I said before, I really think that meeting some of the Kidd’s Kids over the past week made that worse. I would love a special needs child as much or more as I would a healthy one, but it’s scary.  It’s just by the grace of God that a healthy Ethan will be born and I think that it’s so real to me, it’s scary. I pray for her to have a baby that doesn’t have to go to the doctor for more than shots and check ups. I pray that my sister can drop the baby off with nothing more than an extra diaper or two versus a bag full of meds and treatment schedule and all that stuff. It’s SO REAL TO ME THIS YEAR. Anyway, enough of that. I’m sure you get the point.

Is there anything worse than a porto potty? They are so gross. I just wanted to get that out there.

More to come tomorrow. I promise. And BTW…still no Nastia friend request.

Yesterday would be considered a long, long, long day. We have meetings here on Monday’s after the show , so we never leave the office until late. The meetings aren’t that bad, though. I mean we sit around and joke and everyone wants to be the funniest in the room, so it’s full of laughing and joking. I can’t complain about it too much.. It’s just hard to sit still for a long time…no matter how much fun we’re having…especially when we’re tired. And the whole time my brain is chugging along with my to-do list which I managed to forget most of because I suck. I did remember to log onto my online banking thingy only to find out…

My balance was -$515! How did I do this? I’ve been trying so hard to be responsible with my money and not using credit cards and pay stuff off, but this realization threw my responsible head into shock I don’t know where the money went. I don’t understand this online banking thing. I have three accounts set up and I lose track of them because I just am a moron. That’s the only excuse I can come up with. It’s sad, to be honest. My mind doesn’t work with number…at all…clearly. I really did try super mega hard to be responsible and I’m not giving up just yet. I will get this down. And, even though I am stupid, how is it that the bank can take cash out of an account that is negative, put it in another account, and then charge me an insufficient funds fee for it? Why wouldn’t they deny the transfer and send me an email or something? I don’t understand that, either. Oh, and I meant to post a pic from my sisters sonogram yesterday, but I forgot. So here you go. If I can figure out how to do it.

I also had to have a talk about how I have a tendency to not give those people who deserve my attention that in which they deserve. I don’t realize that I let the world around me be as consuming as it is. See, this Sunday was Pride day in Dallas and my friend Vio had a pre-parade party. Michelle and I went to the party, but I let myself get so wrapped up in my friends that I ignored her. That’s not cool. I didn’t mean to do it. And I think what’s even worse about not giving any attention was the fact that once it was pointed out to me, I had no idea what to say. I can’t really apologize for something that I didn’t realize I did. I can apologize generically for acting in a way that may lead her to feel bad, but I feel dishonest when I apologize and I don’t whole heartedly know where I went wrong. Am I the on;y person who feels this way or is it a common thing? Am I a jerk for not just saying “I’m sorry” instead of “I don’t know what to say?” Somebody help me out here because clearly I am clueless.

I’m pretty sure that I say “Wow what a weekend” every Monday, but WOW! What a weekend. It was non stop but a lot of fun, for the most part. There were three birthday parties on Friday night. I only made it to one of them and I was a deadbeat there. I left early and went home to sleep because being in Austin wore me out. I was so exhausted and emotional and a mess, so I called it an early night.

Saturday was a rough day and my mood showed it. We told you guys last week about the passing of Krista Brewer, but the news didn’t hit me that hard until Friday night. I don’t know why being tired makes a person so much more emotional than they would’ve been otherwise. Poor Michelle. There was no consoling me. I didn’t want to be touched. I didn’t want to do anything but crawl up in a ball and cry. Krista is one of those kids who sticks with you forever once you meet her. She’s sweet as can be. In fact, one time when she was in the hospital getting treatment, she made little animals from beads. She gave me a blue horse that I put on the top of my bathroom mirror, so every time I go in my bathroom I think of Krista. That  sounds kind of gross, but just to put it into perspective. How much time does the average chic spend in the bathroom? Quite a bit. So that little girl is on my mind a lot. I didn’t really realize the significance of the little blue horse until Friday morning when we played the tribute to Krista on the show. It was like BAM. Standing there on a stage in Austin with a handful of people watching as I cry the biggest tears I’ve cried in a while. There’s no hiding tears this big, even if you turn your back to the crowd. They’re the ones that saturate your shirt because they’re coming down so big and so fast…you can’t catch them all with kleenex. It was bad and I would have hated to have been there with me.

I think it was so hard hitting for me because so many people I know are pregnant right now…including my little sister. And it’s so random that I was supposed to be at the doctor’s office with her getting her first 3D sonogram at the same time I was at Krista’s funeral. So it went from one extreme to the next. From anticipating seeing my baby nephew full on for the first time…celebrating life… to crying my eyes out mourning the loss of one. I felt so incredibly guilty thinking about the fact that Krista might be better off now that she has passed on. But that little girl touched so many people and lived every second of her life to the fullest. I’m confused by not knowing what to think about this.

I did find myself literally begging God to have mercy on my sister and bless her with a healthy baby during the service. How horrible am I for thinking that way? Here I am supposed to be mourning the loss of Krista’s life and I’m thinking about my little sister and her being pregnant. I saw Janice, Justin, and Shelby walk into the church and about lost it all over again. How do they feel right now? Are they relieved that they don’t have to watch their baby suffer anymore? Are the torn up with pain because they are gonna miss their baby so much? Do they feel guilty for being sad even though she is no longer in pain? How should they feel? Is there a right and wrong answer to these questions? I don’t know. I do know that a lot of people loved that little girl and that her memory will stick with me for a long time.

This may also sound really bad, but going to that funeral did get me excited about this year’s trip and the fact that I’m about to get another chance to meet a plane full of amazing kids who will leave more impressions on me. I met one of the kiddos last week and he was great. Zion was so full of energy and happy.  His parents were GREAT and I can’t wait to get to know the family a little bit better. And I will meet a few more of the kids this week, so I will let you know how that goes.

I’M SORRY THIS IS IN ALL CAPS. I STARTED TYPING IT THAT WAY AND ITS TOO LATE NOW…NOT TRYING TO YELL. SORRY.

I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF MY BATHROOM AT THE ABSOLUTE WORST TIME. I WAS LITERALLY RUNNING TO THE GO. THEN I FIND THAT THE KNOB WONT TURN AND I HAVE TO HUNT FOR A STUPID PAPER CLIP TO OPEN IT. WHO HAS RANDOM PAPER CLIPS LAYING AROUND? NOT ME. I SEARCH FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES UNTIL I’M SWEATING BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO SO BAD. I FINALLY GIVE UP ON THE PAPER CLIP HUNT TO LOOK FOR A WIRE HANGER. I FIND ONE ABOUT 15 MINUTES AFTER THE INITIAL START OF THE SEARCH AND OPEN THE STUPID DOOR. GODNESS I’M STUPID.

THEN IT’S TIME TO GO TO AL’S HOUSE TO PICK UP THE RECORDER HE MANAGED TO FORGET EVEN THOUGH I REMINDED HIM TO BRING IT. ON THE WAY I DECIDE I’M MEGA THIRSTY, SO I REACH TO FIND MY DEBIT CARD AND LICENSE ONLY TO FIND THAT IT’S NOT WITH ME. IS THERE ANYT WORSE FEELING THAN KNOWING THAT IF I WAS TO HAVE A HORRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT THERE WOULD BE NO WAY TO IDENTIFY MY BODY? FUNNY HOW WHEN YOU HAVE NO MONEY OR ANYTHING HOW THE WORLD SEEMS TO REVOLVE AROUND THAT. I WAS HUNGRY, THIRSTY, WANTED TO FILL UP MY GAS TANK, DONATE TO CHARITY, BUY A LAMP. BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE, ONCE AGAIN, I’M A MORON.

HAVE YOU EVER MADE A LIST OF THE THINGS YOU LIKE BEST AND THE THINGS YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT THE PERSON YOU’RE DATING? MAY ALSO BE ANOTHER STUPID IDEA THAT I CAME UP WITH YESTERDAY. THAT “LIST” TURNED INTO A TWO HOUR CONVERSATION THAT I’M GLAD WE HAD, BUT HAD THE POTENTIAL TO GO HORRIBLY WRONG. IT’S COOL THOUGH THAT WE WERE ABLE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AND I WOULDN’T TAKE IT BACK, ESPECIALLY SINCE IT DID GO VERY WELL AND IT’S NICE TO OPEN UP TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.

TIVO ruined my life. I hate it. I pay a perfectly good fee every month to make sure that if I go to the gym while 90210 is on, it’s gonna be recorded when I get home. I cannot tell you how angry and disappointed when I walked into the living room and that little red recording light wasn’t on. I got that feeling in my heart that was full of sadness and remorse for not staying at home until 90210 started to make sure that it did start recording. But I didn’t, so I missed half of the episode which makes me ill to my stomach. What’s going on with Dixon and Annie? Why is Silver sleeping in her car? I HATE myself for missing it. But I did a good thing and went to the gym after a diet of cookies and chip cracker thingys yesterday. I would’ve felt like crap had I not gone to the gym , so I guess feeling better about the body image is a tad more important than seeing 90210. Although I would prefer both.

My TIVO did record Date My Ex: Jo and Slade. What a moron Slade is turning out to be. He is making this show seem so horribly scripted because there’s no way any sane person would ever put themselves out there at the risk of looking stupid. There’s no way he could have really thought that putting himself in the game would be ok or come off as smooth. Duh he still loves Jo. She’s not blind or stupid. While Slade was an idiot in doing that, Chris and Lucas over-reacted a ton.  I mean seriously? It is a game. You knew it was a competition. So don’t say it’s not a game because that’s exactly what it is. And to Jo who has a problem with Lucas and Chris being friends…what else are they supposed to do? They live at this house together with Slade. Would she rather they be BFF’s with him instead of each other? I didn’t get why that was made into such an issue, but maybe I totally missed something. And I liked Lucas a ton until last night. I’ve never really cared too much for Chris, but now I really think he’s a tool for being such a baby and wanting to quit the show. My goodness. She said “OK” when Slade asked her about dinner. She didn’t jump up and down for joy when it happened, so get over yourself.

Today I am getting my hair done and doing cardio with my sister. She’s pregnant and needs to get out of the house and do something other than work or school. So today we will hit the gym and I will do cardio. I hope. I did arms, abs, legs, shoulders, and chest this week. Notice how cardio isn’t in that list. I have to do it. But I hate it so much. Is there some mind set I can take on or some easy routine I can do to build up my stamina? Because I can do 2 miles at an incline and with resistance, but I’m cussing every second of it. Any advice will be taken to heart…just sayin.

I found out that another friend of mine is pregnant yesterday and this one Is having twins. She lives in California and is due in March and will be moving back to town because it’s been a rough pregnancy. I was shocked to hear about this one because she’s already got two kids who are almost grown and ready to go out on their own. I didn’t know they were trying to get pregnant, so I was really caught off guard by this text. So, now there are 4 babies due between now and March. When it rains, it pours, I guess. Now I might need an SUV and a car seat instead of just the car seat. Or two car seats. Since there will be twins.

Keith is out of town and the apartment is so quiet, it’s a little scary. I even slept with the light on last night because I’m not used to being by myself. I don’t mind it, though. Yesterday I could barely hold my eyes open by the end of our Monday meeting, so I went home and took a nap. No talking, TV, doors opening or closing. Nothing. Just his dog barking for a little while and that was it. Keith texted me later last night and asked me if I missed him. I told him not really, but maybe I should’ve said yes. Or kind of. But that would’ve been a lie and I don’t usually lie like that. Why bother? He knows I love the quiet and that I can walk around the apartment after my shower and not worry about putting on pants until I’m ready. He will be home today, so I’m gonna rush home and take in the quiet while I can.

90210 is on again tonight and I’m also pretty happy about that. I feel like last night was a bust because of the rain. Kickball was supposed to have started and we even went to the park early to play tennis before the games. But as soon as we pulled up to the park it started to rain and I wasn’t about to get rained on, so we went and ate dinner instead. I had Eatzi’s salad which could be the best salad in the entire world. I love it. And we watched E! Cutest Child Stars or something like that on TV. I didn’t watch the whole thing. I think Leo DiCaprio was the last child star I saw. It sucks to live so far away from the person I’m dating because I have to include like 30 minutes into the night plans for the commute. It’s really not that bad of a drive except for when you really don’t want to go and knowing that 30 minutes on the road is ahead of you can suck the life out of you.  But we manage to make it work and that makes me happy.

Have you ever had a person who genuinely doesn’t like you even though you’ve done nothing to deserve their contempt? I know I have a tendency to not be that nice of a person sometimes and I’m sure that some of you are saying “what goes around comes around” or “karma’s a b…” Whatever. Say what you want to say. I don’t care. I will admit when I do something to someone to justify their not liking me, but this one I don’t get. And it’s uncomfortable enough that I’m pretty sure that it makes other people around us uncomfortable because I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. Do you kill them with kindness? Do you ignore the nasty looks? I know what the issue is and I know that I’ve done nothing to instigate it. It’s a mixture of insecurity and jealousy and there’s really nothing that I can do to put those feelings at ease, especially when I have done nothing to bring them on. It’s just awkward and I normally would blow this person off and accept the fact that I cannot change their insecurities, but it’s affecting people around me and I don’t like that at all.

Today I’m going to work out because I feel gross having done nothing yesterday. So I’m on it. Is it possible to be toned and pure hotness by spring? That’s my goal and this time I’m actually doing something to achieve the goal. I’m just saying…

Please tell me that you saw the previews for the “Hole In The Wall” game show during football yesterday. It’s as basic and simple as anything I’ve ever seen, but it’s so incredibly brilliant. Almost as brilliant as the big red bouncy ball on “Wipeout” where you know exactly what’s gonna happen every time but you still can’t help but laugh out loud. I didn’t get to see it last night because we went to work out instead, but I need to TIVO it. And 90210.

This working out thing is pretty great. I’m liking it and feel better about myself. I don’t know that hitting the gym solid for a couple weeks makes any difference when you just start out, but I don’t care. I’ve lost 4 pounds since my last doctor’s visit. It’s not a lot, but I’m not even overweight, so any loss is enough for me.

It was a busy weekend and I’m having a hard time remembering everything we did. Friday was Whirlyball. It’s like lacrosse in bumper cars. I got thrown out of my seat a couple of times and have a giant bruise on my leg to show for it. But it was a lot of fun and I would love to do it again. There were cookies and pitchers of beer. I wasn’t the best Whirlyball player. In fact I probably sucked. But it was fun, so who cares about how good or bad I played. Then we went to the Capital Grill and found a table for 16. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and then it was like tired punched me over the head and I just had to sleep. We wanted to go out, but we got to Michelle’s car and I just couldn’t do. Within 5 minutes of laying down I was OUT like a light. That never happens to me and it was great. I’m that person who can count the light blinking on my fire alarm about 3,000 times before I finally fall asleep. I guess I was just exhausted and I managed to keep it under control until then. But on Saturday I slept until 10:30. I’m so lazy. I had to haul it home because Kelli was having the baby shower for baby Bradyn.

Can I just say that I suck at Baby Shower games? I don’t know enough baby shower gifts to easily fill out the baby shower bingo card. I lost SO bad. I don’t eat candy, so I didn’t know the candy they melted in the diaper. I don’t carry a purse, so I didn’t do the scavenger. And by the time I got BINGO, there were no prizes left. So I am a baby shower game playing loser. But it was very cool going to a shower that people who know what they’re doing planned because I am planning my sister’s shower. I walked through the room and made a blackberry memo of every little detail I could recognize. I am worried that I’m going to be responsible for a crappy shower for little Ethan, so I’m hoping I stole enough ideas to make Samantha’s memorable. Hers is not until November, so I have plenty of time to get it together. But who pays for the shower stuff? Cake, carrots, punch, games…it’s a little much and I don’t know where the funding will come from, but I will figure it out.

Saturday night I hung out with Dr. Christy, Mackenzie, and their friends because Michelle was out of town for a wedding in Austin. And with the baby shower that afternoon I wasn’t able to go with her. It was pretty drama free and fun, which is never a bad thing. I managed to roll into my bed at about  4AM because I’m stupid and didn’t think I needed more than 3 hours of sleep. Stupid decision on my part because I was just pooped out yesterday. I was lame when we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for football and it took everything in me to go and work out. But I did. Then I had vegetables for dinner, showered, and watched the VMA’s. Maybe I’m the only one, but I actually enjoyed the show.

I had to look Russell Brand up because I had no idea who he was and I didn’t understand why they would have a no name guy hosting the awards. I still don’t really know who he is, but I did love his energy. The accent got on my nerves, but I’m not a fan of the accent. He was spunky and entertaining at times. Britney is beautiful again and I’m so happy for her. Christina was hugely disappointing lip syncing her new single. I seriously thought that it was a look alike on that stage until she started doing her riffs. Christina is so amazingly talented…why would she waste a performance like that? Pink is HOTNESS and I love the new song and I sing it as loud as I can when I’m in the car alone. And Kidd was right. The video for “So What” is pretty great, so if you haven’t seen it, go to youtube and watch it when you get a chance.

I also went to a September 11^th fundraiser for fallen firefighters, but I don’t want to cram that in with the talk of Britney and Whirlyball. I’d rather wait until Thursday to tell you about the event and how Keith made me proud (for a change). I love him to death, but it’s been a lot of tough love lately and I don’t really like that so much.

Big day yesterday. The truck situation ended, sort of. It ended with me saying “text me your address. Let me know when you deposit the payment into my account every month. And we r done.” Easy enough, I guess. But franly, I don’t have the time, desire, or motivation to deal with someone who says that  even though IO’m giving them over a year to get their stuff together, that they want a legal contract because “she knows how I can be.” Seriously? What an insult to my trying to give this person what I consider to be more than enough time to get their stuff in order…which will make us broken up for almost 3 years…but she knows how I am. AND she calls my dad and tells him that she’s worried I’m going to go and take the truck in the middle of the night or something which makes NO sense. I want the ties CUT. I don’t want possession of the truck. I don’t want it in my name. I don’t want a car payment that’s twice as high as my current one. So why bring my parents into it in the first place, but especially when it’s a totally irrational reason that is completely unfounded. I cannot even tell you how mad I was when I read this one particular part of the text. “I know how you can be.” NEVER AGAIN will I help anyone financially unless it is my little sister. I see where it gets me.

Yesterday I got home pretty late, so I didn’t get to the gym and I feel awful for it. I took like a 30 minute nap and then got up to go car shopping with my little sister again. This time, though, she drove away in the car she wanted. I’m so proud of her and the fact that she’s doing so well. I’m still envious, though, because her car is newer and better than mine. There was a 2008 Honda Accord sitting in the parking lot that I want SO BAD. It was red with black leather interior. And it was so cool. It had 5,000 miles on it which lowered the price a little bit, but not enough. It was still like $27,000. But it had real chrome wheels and pretty tires and it was so beautiful. And I still want it. But it’s not realistic and makes no sense for me to take on that much more of a car payment. So I will wait.

After the long car buying experience, it was off to Top Golf to watch football. It wasn’t a big deal. A few friends sitting around a couple tables eating and watching the game. It was so funny because you walk into the place with football on and it’s loud. Like sports bar loud. Then right after the game they go to the RNC and turn the volume OFF! I was surprised. Here we are in a historic election, regardless of who ends up winning, and they turn the volume off. I don’t know why I was surprised because nobody goes to a sports bar to watch a political convention, but it would’ve been cool to have seen what they were saying. I know there was protestors or something, but I don’t know why. And I’m just stupid enough to have stayed there and making lip reading a game. I didn’t do well at all, but whatever. Thank goodness for youtube.

This weekend is gonna be a busy one. Tonight my kickball team is doing whirleyball. Don’t ask me what that is, because I don’t know. Then tomorrow is Kelli’s baby shower, so I have to go and get the gift today. I’m supposed to hang out with my friend Marni tomorrow night. Then Keith is doing a fundraiser on Sunday for firefighters. I think he is the Master of Ceremonies, so I guess I should be a good friend for a change and go. Then it’s football and the VMA’s and so much more. Michelle’s going to Austin for a wedding on Saturday, which makes me a little sad, but I will find a way to make it through.

It’s so strange, though, when you get used to being around a person almost every night and then one night they’re not there and it throws your world into a tailspin. But I am not co-dependant. At least I don’t think I am.

Still not friends with Nastia. I’m sure she will come around and take me in, but I’m sure she’s busy or something and will catch up on my blogs this weekend. At least that’s what I’m going with.

Thanks! Have a good weekend.

It’s a BOY! My sister found out yesterday that she will be having a baby boy on December 26. They had the names narrowed down to Katherine Emma or Ethan and Ethan it is! I’m so happy and excited and cannot wait until she has this baby. It’s so cool because I have other nieces and nephews, but they have moved around quite a bit and now live with their dad, so we don’t see much of them. This sister isn’t going anywhere, so I’m really excited. Last night she even asked me if I am going to buy a car seat for my car. I guess that might be a good idea because my friend Kelli is also pregnant with little Brayden Edward. I’ve got his sonogram pics saved in my phone because he’s a little miracle baby. They were starting the adoption process when BAM…they’re pregnant. In fact, they are having her baby shower this weekend, so I need to go shopping for her gift today. It amazes me how much baby stuff there is out there. Different kinds of bottles, pacifiers, strollers. I’ve been to Babies R’ Us a couple of times, but I guess I was kind of oblivious to how much there really is to buy.

I took Sam to a baby fair thing a couple months ago, but it was before they knew if the baby would be a boy or a girl. It’s amazing how much embroidery businesses apparently make because that’s all that was at this fair. It was a pointless drive to Ft. Worth, but if we were to go now I would go crazy nuts getting her all the baby stuff I thought she could need. I want to get him camo stuff and teddy bears. I want to pay for her pregnancy pictures if they’re not too expensive. I have no idea how much they are or when you are supposed to start taking them , so feel free to post a comment with any advice you might have to pass along.

When Sam texted me with the news of how excited they were to find out that it’s a boy, I sat in my bedroom and cried for a few minutes. One because I really am happy for her and I know that she and Orlando will be fantastic parents. The other day when I went car shopping with them, they were talking about the sonogram and Orlando was so sweet with the stuff he said. He wanted “Daddy’s little Girl” or his little slugger. He sounded excited and he had a smile on his face, which led to my sister having a smile on her face, too. It’s just a happy situation all around, for the most part. Of course there’s some nervousness that comes with it. They will have to move out of their apartment. Samantha is supposed to graduate college in May, but now the baby takes priority over school and work. Everything is coming together for her and I’m naturally a little envious, but so excited for her.  

On another note, I told you on Monday that I’m trying to get all of my financial matters together so I can get a new car in about a year. One of the things that I have to do to accomplish this is refinance a loan that I took out for an ex when her truck got stolen. She needed a vehicle ASAP, so I helped make that happen. Now we have been broken up for over a year and the truck is still in my name. Not a big deal because the payments are made every month, but I wanted to give fair warning that I’m going to invest in something newer in a little over a year, so it’s time to start working towards refinancing the loan in her name. Well this didn’t initially go over very well and I ended up getting ticked off to the point that I was dizzy. Between dealing with Keith and his issues and the truck, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I just sat there and told Keith that I had nothing more to say to him because it wasn’t going to be nice and I had already not been very nice because making jokes and being remotely nice has not worked. So yesterday I resorted to being flat out rude to him and FINALLY he agreed that there are some changes he needs to make in his life. But anyway, this truck thing has become a much bigger ordeal than I expected it to, especially since I’m giving more than a years warning! I thought I was doing the fair and right thing in saying that I feel like I have upheld my end of the deal and kept the truck in my name for a year post break up and now it’s time to get it in her name. But now there’s legal documents and disagreements on the way it needs to be done. My dad’s help has been enlisted…not from me…and I’m not OKO with that. In fact I made that a stipulation of the “legal document” I’m supposed to put together. I’ve not had to ask my parents for financial help since I moved out and I’m not about to ask my dad to help get a loan for someone else to help clear my credit and get a new car. Maybe it’s a stupid pride thing. I don’t know. But I would rather drive my piece of junk, soon to be out of warranty car until it falls to pieces and the loan is paid off in my name instead of have my dad co-sign for a loan in hers. Lesson learned the hard way. I won’t help anyone financially again because it’s too big of a mess and I don’t need the added stress. Unless it’s my little sister. I’d help her in a second, but that’s it.

Tonight is the kickoff of football season and I am gonna watch it because I have the Fantasy Football thing going. I don’t really even know who’s playing tonight, but I know that it’s fun to watch football with a group of people, so I’m all in. I also have to go shopping for Kelli’s baby shower gift AND Michelle and I agree that we would both do cardio. 2 miles on the elliptical…here I come. I need a nap and tonight is Chic Happy Hour so I probably will at least make an appearance. Then on to watch football. Big day. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Oh, and Nastia still hasn’t asked me to be a MySpace friend, much less a top friend. I’m only a tiny bit hurt right now, but in 5 days, it could be way bad.

Last night could’ve been the best night of TV ever. Maybe not absolutely, positively the BEST night ever, but maybe the second behind only the premiere of the original 90210. The new 90210 is everything I thought it would be and more, except that Hannah Zuckerman is not cute.  It’s cool though because the pretty girl from Nip/Tuck is on there and she’s a bad girl again and I love it. And Brenda and Kelly are back. Can you think of anything better than coming home from the gym with a chicken salad sandwich in hand then plopping down for 2 hours of 90210? I can’t.  And I got to do it last night. So fantastic.

Keith got out of bed yesterday after texting me telling me to keep him out of his room as much as possible. I was so proud of him because he’s in some kind of funk and I know it’s hard to get motivated when I get like that. I feel kind of bad though because I still don’t really know what the “funk” is. But, he stayed out of his room and worked in the living room yesterday on his own, so GOOD JOB KEITH.

I am so super excited because my little sister finds out the sex of her baby today. I can’t lie. I’m routing for a boy because there are so many girls in the family, but I know they are super excited either way it goes. I wanted to get a 350Z when I save up enough money for a new car, but now with so many people around me having babies and me being such a stellar sitter, I realize that it’s not practical AT ALL. And they’re not the most affordable cars on the market, so it’s probably better. And the coolest thing was that upon realizing how unpractical it is, I walked over to the Altima coupes. There right in front of me, was a black exterior, black leather interior 3.5 liter Altima coupe. And what was so, so cool? It had BOSE speakers in it AND real chrome wheels. No plastic covers! I want this car, but, like I said yesterday, I’m going to make getting it a somewhat long term goal to give me something to work for.

I also did some other stuff yesterday, too. I’m not always good about paying bills on time, so I finally set up some accounts online so there’s no excuse. No more putting the wrong postage on envelopes. No more not having a pen to write the check and making it out two days later…just late enough to acquire a late fee. I need to do better with that stuff, so I’m making a conscious effort to make it easy and painless. I feel like I’ve finally decided to calm down and get my crap together and I feel very good about that.

We went to the gym again last night and it was great. Steve taught us how to work the chest area. Can I just say I hate that my chest needs working out because lifting those weights in that way sucks. But I do have this little spot under my arm that is so in need of working out, I have to do it.

Working out has made me realize how hyper-critical I am of my body. I can pick out every problem spot and even foresee future ones. It’s horrible.  I laugh because I’m sure that people notice the fat part of my whatever and laugh about it or judge me and call me lazy. I swear I’m not a lazy person…I may just look that way. I know that I make assumptions about people when they have bodies that are less than stellar, so maybe this is my payback. Maybe all of the things that I’m noticing about myself now is what I need to notice to stop criticizing others. I’m realizing that how critical I am of myself is a horrible sign of how critical I am of others and maybe I need to calm it down a lot. I will be the first to admit that I am so far from perfect. Mentally, physically, emotionally…I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself. But I also need to give people a little more of a chance and realize that maybe they’re not lazy either. Maybe they have their own things going on and their reasons for the little flab in the chest area.

Oh, and one last thing. This is for Steve. If my boobies shrink from this chest work out, you’re paying for my new bras. That’s all.

Oh, and one more thing. Nastia Liukin… If you read this. I don’t really understand why J-Si and Kidd are top friends and I’m not even one of your 20,000 total friends. I’m nice. And I think your medals are really cool. And I will watch you when you are on Oprah. And I will eat Wheaties. So PLEASE add me!!