Shanon’s Blog

I’m really hoping that Ben the web genius here at the studio can pull our “Footloose” dance practice video off of my MacBook because Keith erased it my memory card. Thanks Keith. I’m going to go ahead and call dance practice a success. I got so sweaty I had to put on a hat because when my hair gets wet or sweaty it goes all wavy and I hate it. So  I put on my brown hat and made a video of dance practice because it was 80’s night and we wanted to do Footloose in front of the crowd. Everything was fine with the video until Keith ruined it (and made it funny all at the same time).  He was too busy working to video tape dance practice, so I set the camera in between parts of a lamp in my living room. Casey and I were doing our dance just fine until Keith came in to watch us. He stood right in front of the camera wearing some dumb looking wig and totally blocked our freestyle footloose interpretation from being on the video. In natural “Shanon-ness,” I pitched a fit. It was awful. I SCREAMED at him to stop blocking our video. Stupid. But that was the funniest part of it.

We did do the dance that night and I choose to believe that it was a hit. I even seem to remember Casey picking me up at one point. Almost life we got Footloose confused with Dirty Dancing and the part where Johnny lifts Baby for the big finale. I got dropped. Hard on my butt dropped. And somehow I managed to get a giant bruise on my leg that looks like I got hit with a hammer. So totally attractive as I walk around in sweatshorts with a ginormous bruise on my right leg.

Which car is hotter…the Nissan Altima COUPE or the 350Z? I’ve only got 19,000 more miles on my warranty, so I’m starting to think about what I want to get next. I love the 350Z, but the Altima is much more practical. Especially with people around me having kids and me being such an amazing babysitter. I guess that makes more sense. And it is cheaper. Who knows. I’ve got plenty of time to figure it out, but for now I can take a poll of which would I be hotter in…350Z or Altima Coupe?

I went to the lake for the lake party on Saturday and had a good time. My boat didn’t even completely break down. It didn’t want to start when I’d kill it to let skiers back on, but once it did start it kept running. I didn’t have to break out the fire extinguisher or anything. I think my dad said that something must be wrong with the carburetor. Poor boat. It’s such a love hate relationship I have with that thing. I love it when it runs and hate it when it doesn’t. I’m sort of a fair-weather fan and give up on it when times are hard. Maybe the boat would run better and more often if I was loyal to it all the time Maybe I’ll give that a shot.

I have to find out what’s up with my Footloose video. In the meantime, go to YouTube and search Babies on a Plane for the song that I wrote and performed with J-Si and the video that Andrew produced to go along with it. It made me laugh and I’m hoping it will a few other people, too.

I swear I would be so completely, horribly happy if I never had to blow my nose again. I am so tired of sniffling and Kleenex and being dizzy because my body has an excess of mucus…I hate it. I can’t seem to shake this sinus infection from hell. But today I’m gonna sleep this mess off. I got it. By 5PM today I will be healthy again. That’s my goal. Maybe it’s a tad unrealistic, but I’m gonna go for it.

Last  night was so much fun, but I’m tired. And yesterday was a good day, too. My little sister and I went to the mall and went a little crazy. If you’ve never owned a pair of MEK jeans, you’re missing out. They’re not too horribly expensive (like $135 a pair), and I swear they are the only jeans that fit my form and that I can afford. If I save up. I think paying even this much for jeans is insane, but I love these jeans. They are so amazing. And I was even told that I should go and buy 5 pairs of them because they look that amazing on me. I’m gonna believe what the people say. Why not, right?

So, now onto last night. We all met up for dinner and drinks at Cyclones. I love that place more and more everytime I go. So, if you’re in Dallas and want a fantastic dining experience, go there. Anyway, we went there and had a couple drinks and some dinner before we went to an event called Chic Happy Hour. It was fun, but there was a lot of drunkenness going on. I’m not going to get into any specific stories, but it was CRAZY. That’s really all I can say about that. I was good, though, and ended up driving one of my friends home. Keith even showed up and I was worried I was going to have to drive him home, but he found someone to stay with. I am pretty tired, though. I think I sent my last text at like 12:30AM. It was my own fault for being out so late and for laughing at my drunk friends, which I’m sure encouraged them more.

I really don’t know what’s going on this weekend. I will take a nap today, I’m sure. Tonight I’m going to an 80’s theme night and tomorrow is a party at the lake. If my boat runs, I’m gonna take it. Let’s hope I can. Sunday ill probably be sleeping in and recovering from heat exhaustion after spending the day on Saturday at the lake. I LOVE the weekends. Seriously. I am having so much fun just hanging out and not answering to anyone and having no worries about a whole lot other than my killer sinus infection and how I’m gonna be three places at once. What a great life I have right now. No sarcasm. No jokes. I’m loving it!

My social life is in full gear and I’m liking it. It’s almost like I’m socially bi-polar or something. I go from sleeping on my couch as much as possible Thursday thru Saturday to never being home to sit on my couch long enough to watch “Jo and Slade: Date my Ex.” It’s good thought because I’m staying busy and out of trouble and I’m happy and look forward to my friends. That’s a good place to be…content. I didn’t know that I was truly capable of feeling that while being single again, but apparently I am. I have the most unhealthy codependence thing going on at times, but I’m getting over that. Speaking of codependence…

Oprah. What do I do with my dog? She’s an Australian Shepherd and I love her. I don’t pretend to hate her. Except for when I do. And that’s not unless she poops on the floor or something that I know she knows better than doing. Anyway, she ate a huge hole in my couch.  Here’s a picture of the hole if I can figure out how to put it on here.

So my mom heard me mention it yesterday at the beginning of the show and told my aunt who gave me the dog. And now the subject of “tell me if you decide to give her away” has come up and I’m torn.

When I asked for Oprah I was in a live in relationship where she would pretty much have constant attention from either my ex or me. But right before Oprah was old enough to leave her doggy mom, we broke up. So my dog essentially became the product of a single mom with a crazy schedule. I take her as many places as I can. I take her outside and throw the ball and do what I can with her. Keith has been a huge help with this as well. But still. She’s an outside dog who is spending too much time inside. I’m sure that’s why she ate my couch. She is understimulated and it’s my fault. She’s a happy dog when I’m home and with her. She sleeps with me at night and wants to be with me constantly during the day. I know that she loves me, but would she love someone else better? Is it unfair to have her at my apartment when there’s the chance to have her live on a farm? I’m so torn and I feel horrible for even thinking about this, but I am.

I went and tried playing tennis again last night, but I didn’t do that great. I’m still battling this sinus infection, so my nose was running constantly. I started getting that feeling like my insides were on fire and like I was starving. And there were guys waiting to play on the same court, so we only lasted about an hour. But it was fun and I feel like I could be the next Venus or Serena. Michelle even got a tennis racquet for my birthday! It’s a pretty blue one, but she says that the hand grip might not be the right size. So we are going to go and look at some other ones to see if I should keep that one of get another one. But I officially have a tennis racquet. Now I just have to learn how to play.

I have awkward conversation talk to tell you about, too, but I have to tread lightly because the other person involved might not want people to know who they are. So I will keep it to myself for now and maybe write about it tomorrow.

Wow. Oprah (my Australian shepherd dog) at my couch yesterday. She didn’t gnaw on the leg a little bit. Somehow she ripped a huge hole in the pillow and chewed a hole in the edge of it. Can you say livid? Heart pounding to the point that when I got home I just went to my room and lay in bed until it calmed down a little bit? Can you say texting Uncle Keith to tell him not to meet me in the living room to show  it to me because I might go a little crazy? If it was my old piece of crap couch it would be no big deal. But it’s not. It’s the leather couch that’s more comfortable than any bed I’ve ever slept on and I just got in February. It’s the $3700 couch that I got for $1700 on my Mastercard and will be paying for over the next three years. That couch. And now all that saves that couch from being totally white trash and only making it somewhat white trash is the blue t-shirt covering the huge hole. I will take a picture of it today and post it tomorrow. I didn’t have the heart to look at it more than once yesterday. Keith knows a guy who can fix it, but how much is that gonna cost me? So maybe I’ll be the person who learns to embrace the giant hole in the couch. And my cat ate my iPod cord while I was in Denver last week. He is usually the chewer and Oprah isn’t. I don’t know where I’ve gone wrong with my animals, but clearly I’ve done something.

Let’s see. I’m not gonna talk about the same stuff I have been in my past couple of blogs. Where’s my dating life? Non existent. Whatever. I’m in a good place just hanging out with friends and playing kickball on Monday’s and tennis when I can. I hope to play tonight unless I get achy again. I suck at this game so bad. I’m praying that I don’t hit the ball over the fence and into the creek again. Anyway, I think maybe I am such a relationship person and I don’t approach anyone because I know I would get rejected. I pretty much hop from one person to the next and I’ve not done that this time. So maybe people don’t know that I’m single. Or maybe I don’t really care to go out with a different person every day of the week because I am such a relationship person. I’d rather not waste my time on people who have no potential for anything more. Kellie asked me the other day if living on my side of the street is where my heart really is and my answer was yes. The thought of going back to the other side of the street isn’t even an option. Sometimes I wish it was because I dream of the white picket fence with kids running in the yard chasing their puppy kind of thing. I know I can still have that, but it doesn’t come as easy. I will have to make a concerted effort to start a family. That’s OK because at least I know I will be ready to do that, but it’s also a little discouraging. I don’t know. I’m rambling now.

I had dinner with my friend Kelli last night. I’ve not seen her in a long time because I pretty much fell off the face of the earth for a while. It was nice catching up with her. She’s pregnant and due about a month before my little sister. It was so random because she gave me a box of glasses for my birthday and when I went to put them in my back seat, I found $37! That was the lucky moment of my day yesterday. I sat at the table by myself for the longest time because I drove from Coppell to Grapevine. She drove from Ft. Worth. And while traffic through DFW sucks bad, apparently it doesn’t suck as bad as the traffic from Ft. Worth. Luckily I’m trying to become a professional brick breaker game player, so I occupied myself with that. But I felt like such a loser sitting there with my Diet Pepsi and cheesy bread. I had the BBQ chicken chopped salad and it was very tasty. I did throw it up once I got home, but oh well. I tried. Keith then comes home with his Buffalo Wild wings chicken wrap and wings that smell to high heaven. I had already been in such a crappy mood all day that I just finished folding my laundry and went to bed. Gross. I’m not gonna lie I love the BWW chicken tender wrap, but there’s something about smelling it in the apartment that makes it lose its tasty appeal.

Oh and the apartment that we pay way too much to live in is sucking more and more every day. They are renovating the empty ones, so the occupied apartments aren’t getting the attention they used to and it sucks. My dishwasher leaks and floods my kitchen and I think that I’m going to have to let the water seep down into my downstairs neighbors apartment before my apartment management gives a crap. I’ve not done dishes in two weeks now. I can’t because I don’t think that hand washing sanitizes them and I’m not about to eat off of dirty dishes. And if we run the dishwasher it floods the entire east side of my kitchen until the counters are saturated with water and then flows to every other side of the kitchen. Seriously, what does it take? It’s so frustrating because these apartments cost enough that a roommate is necessary, so youd think that customer service would be kind of a big deal. I will say this. If my dishwasher isn’t fixed by the end of the show on Friday, I’m going to protest. I will go and sit in the office until they feel the need to fix my stuff. Seriously. Unless I find something better to do, which I probably will, and then I will just invest in all plastic wear and let the other dishes continue to build up in my sink.

Well I went to the doctor and now I’ve got more medicine than I know what to do with. And I got a shot in the butt. I asked for a shot rather than steroid pills because I already have enough pills to swallow. But I didn’t realize how much one of those shots HURTS! I don’t know if maybe I have zero pain tolerance or if it really was that bad, but man it hurt. Who knows. Maybe that’s the karma for the blog I wrote yesterday and now apparently deserve the bad things that happen to me for.

Seriously, I understand that a parent’s job is to defend their child. If it was me with one of my nieces or nephews, I would have felt bad. But it wasn’t me, so for this instance I am gonna say that I was frustrated. Keep in mind that I was certain my head would explode at any second and the shrieking and screaming and kicks of the kid behind me made it worse. I’m also not about to say that even if my head wasn’t going to explode that I still wouldn’t have been frustrated, but that’s not the case. Please tell me that there has never been one instance in which someone else’s child was on your last nerve. If you dare say this has never happened with your own child, I would say that you’re not honest with yourself about your feelings. Yes, I am completely unempathetic at times. I don’t deny this. But seriouosly? If this one instance of my getting irritated with the child behind me is enough to make you hate me, maybe I’m not the only one who needs to do a little introspection.

Granted, everyone has a total right to be mad at me or agree with me or whatever emotion you may choose to feel after yesterday’s blog. I don’t deny you that nor am I mad or upset with the fact that you criticize and don’t agree with my opinion. I can empathize with that feeling. It’s cool.

But, while I’m on the subject, I’m not saying anything other than I went and saw Pineapple Express last night and was shocked at the amount of kids in the audience. I’m 27 years old and felt uncomfortable sitting there with my friends at times, so I cannot even begin to imagine what those parents were feeling. At one point I saw several groups get up and leave, but at the end of the movie when I went to the bathroom there was a bunch of kids in there with their Pineapple Express swag. I don’t know what I think about this exactly. I’m told that kids are so desensitized to stuff at this point that it’s really nothing they don’t hear or talk about at school. But I also think that there has to be SOME line drawn with the direct exposure a parent gives to their kid. Knowledge of things is fine, but why would you take your kid to this movie? Judge me again. It’s fine. I’m just saying that I’m as entitled to my opinion as you are yours.

I think that codeine cough syrup has the opposite effect on me. I had the worst time falling asleep last night and then couldn’t stay asleep to save my life. Maybe I have a lot on my mind. I did lay in bed with some pretty heavy thoughts, but I didn’t think they were enough to interrupt my sleep. Especially after my long day yesterday. I went to the wheel store and bought a $70 USED wheel and then to Discount Tire to get the new tire. The guy at Discount Tire said that I didn’t need the new wheel and that I got jipped paying that much for a used tire. So I planned to take it back, but I look at the receipt and it says there’s a 25% restocking fee and then they don’t do refunds…in store credit only. I can understand maybe a Wal Mart doing in store credit because you can buy everything from bacon to bikes there. But the wheel store? I’m sure there’s something on my car they can fix, but what a rip. I won’t be going back to the store I let rip me off.

BTW…my boat is named Murphy’s Law. It’s my last name. So it’s a way of life for me. Not ecessarily the ill effects of a blog that makes people mad. Oh, and here’s a question for you. The movie was at a mall last night and I bought a couple of shirts at Victoria’s Secret. Are they OK to wear everyday or are they sleeping shirts? They’re not silky and pajama looking. They are normal chic shirts. I think I’ve seen people wear them out before. In fact I think one lady at Discount Tire had one on. But JC says you’re not supposed to do that, so I don’t know.

So glad to be back from DJ school in Denver. Flying to the mile high city with a sinus infection ( I guess)…BAD IDEA. I was in bed by 8 every night. All the other cool DJ’s probably think I’m stuck up and lame. Whatever. Who needs DJ friends anyway? Not this girl right here.  My insurance finally changed over, though, so now I can make eye contact with my doctor for less than $100. And I can even fill my meds. I didn’t realize how expensive health care was until I had my last insurance. Allegra was $112 a bottle, so I started taking over the counter Zyrtec instead. Maybe now I can get on Allegra again. Anyway…

I think that people who bring their bad babies on airplanes are selfish. Babies that cry over anything are going to cry more when their head feels like it’s going to explode because of the pressure. And you know that the parents know that their baby is bad because they carry on a stupid trash bag full of stuffed animals to shut the thing up. And then the baby kicks the seat in front of them so hard it wakes the person up. On Saturday I was that person.

If you are one of these selfish parents, don’t give me a go to hell look when I turn around and give you the go to hell look. You know as well as I do that you didn’t want to be trapped in a car with this bad child for hours, so why would you subject completely innocent strangers to your little spawn for two hours? You deserve mean looks from everyone around your bad baby. And how awful is it that after your baby wakes me up from screaming and kicking for most of the flight, the thing falls asleep as soon as we land. So, to make a long story short, I don’t like selfish parents.

Does it bother you when someone gets on your computer and changes you’re user name on every page you both use? I go to get on my Kiddnation page today and I’m signed in as British Guy Jack. And, he uses my laptop during the show and always changes my email name to his. Maybe I’m mega anal, but isn’t it just polite to change stuff back? I’m not a boy. I’m not British. I don’t want to be a boy, or British. So why do I want to log onto my stuff and British Guy jack pop up on everything?

I had a blowout on Saturday night and bent the rim of my tire, so I have to get that fixed before I can make my doctors appointment today. I live in Coppell and Dr. Moon is in Plano. So I have to make an appointment for that. And then tonight I’m going to see “Pineapple Express.” We’re having Seth Rogan and James Franco on the show tomorrow, so I want lots of people to go see the movie tonight.

So I’m gonna go blow my nose AGAIN. It’s so raw and gross now. I hate it. I’ll let you know what the doctor says tomorrow.

It was the last weekend of my birthday month and I almost feel like a half an ounce of relief. I’m just so tired and the birthday month celebrations weren’t helping with that and I’m pretty sure that if I kept making a huge deal of it the celebrations could’ve continued. Maybe, but I’m not really that sure. I’m just going to assume that they would and, since I will never really know for sure, assume that I’m right.

Friday was the concert with Freddy and Good Charlotte. Freddy kicked some butt and Good Charlotte rocked it out. Then I was off to my apartment for the big house party that Keith organized. I was in route to my apartment at 11:02PM and only one person had showed up at that point. So I get on the phone and managed to round up 10 people (I think) to come over. We played Guitar Hero and talked. They did beer bongs and swam. I didn’t do the beer bong. I don’t really see how those are sanitary or safe or why anyone would want to touch their mouth to the same tube that 8 people before them had touched. I looked at the pictures of everyone else doing it, but I never actually witnessed it first hand. It was fun and I came in second place in the big tournament. Super Steve pretty much kicked my butt and won 1^st. Oh well. Can’t win them all. By 3:45AM on Saturday morning I called it quits and went to bed. Keith and the rest of the people went to the pool for about an hour, but I couldn’t fall asleep. By the time he came back and got everyone to lay down on the couch and had asked Greg no less than 47 times if he wanted a blanket and a pillow I was out of patience. I swore that my head would combust if I heard him ask one more time, so I just got up to take care of it. But Keith STILL would not shut up and go to bed, so I was over it. I finally got everyone to lay down and try to sleep and then I went back to bed.

On Saturday we got up and had Steak and Shake and it was off to the Saturday birthday celebration. My sister did a pool party at her apartment. It was fun. We just hung out and cooked and had beer and that was about it. I couldn’t stay that long because that night was the Kathy Griffin show. I LOVE her. I went home to shower and Chelsea picked me up and we went and got pizza and headed to Casey’s house. We took a cab to Nokia because nobody wanted to worry about having to drive. Josh met up with us later on and was official DD. Kathy went for about two and a half hours and then we went to Barcadia. It was packed and a total beating, so then it was off to the Regal Beagle. We just kind of sat around and talked until they kicked us out of the place. I went to buy drinks for everyone at one point and some lady with heels made of pointy steel stepped on my toe and now it’s all discolored and swollen and gross. She didn’t even realize she had done it, so I guess I can’t hold too much of a grudge. Or I can and just try and say that I’m not. Why do women wear siky heels made of steel to the bar? She knew she would be drinking and that there would be crowds of people. There’s no way those things were comfortable and she wasn’t hot and the spiky shoes made of steel didn’t do her any favors. So why bother?

Sunday I got up early to take my little sister to the baby expo. There’s so much baby stuff to be had. And so many people who will embroider all the stuff for you. Sam is due in December and doesn’t even know the sex of the baby yet, so we didn’t buy anything. Just signed up for a bunch of stuff. I took her to lunch and then to the mall because I lost another pair of sunglasses and needed new ones. I swear if I lose this pair I’m going with cheap ones. I had to go lame grocery shopping and shower and do laundry and was in bed around 11pm last night. Not too bad, I guess.

Tonight is kickball and then tomorrow night is tennis. Wednesday it’s off to DJ school through Saturday. Yay that.

You’re never going to believe what I’m about to type. I don’t even believe it. I don’t even believe it. Not only did I do something that was totally out of my character on SO many levels that I don’t blame you if you call me a huge liar. But…here goes.

I FREANCHED BILLY BOB THORNTON! I did. His tongue touched mine. I know that’s gross. Talk of tongues touching is never really not gross, but if you’re gonna hear about it, it might as well be tongues touching with Billy Bob Thornton. Anyway, that was the highlight of my Thursday night. We went to have dinner at the House of Blues, watched the concert, and frenched BBT. VERY NICE!

They are so kicking us out of the studio, so I gotta keep it short. But I frenched BBT! HOLLA

It’s been an interesting couple of days. Keith and I got into our first little spat ever in the 5 years we’ve known each other. It was kind of a complicated mess  that’s apparently all worked out now, but it sucked for a little while. I won’t even get into it because the main person because the main person involved turned out to be exactly who I thought they would be.  Go figure, right?

I played tennis for more than two hours last night and it was great. I was fully expecting to wake up ad feel like my arm was going to fall off, but so far so good. My team lost the game, but we started out strong. I can’t remember how bad we lost in the end, but I think it was kind of bad. Now I’m told that I need to find a wall to go and hit the ball against so I can get better because apparently home runs aren’t acceptable in tennis. Who knew? I went and walked around by the creek to find the balls, but I think I lost 2 of them. I did find 1, but I had to go kind of far down in the creek and came up with only one little teeny tiny rash. Not bad. Maybe next time I’ll be able to get no home runs. Bad for softball. Good for tennis.

So tell me if this is a bad thing or not. We’ve got the Good Charlotte/Freddy concert on Friday night and, to be completely honest, while we on vacation I forgot the date. Well, Keith and I decided that we wanted to have a little house party that same night. So now I have a house party planned and it’s very likely I won’t even be at it until after midnight. It makes sense to move the date of the party, especially since everyone thinks that it’s on Saturday night and that’s really the night of Kathy Griffin. Felicia is having a party on Friday night because she thought mine was on Saturday night and didn’t want to interfere with eachothers parties. But lets face it. It’s the end of my birthday month, so I need this to work in my favor somehow. Otherwise it’s going to be my birthday 2 months and I will celebrate until August 16. I’m FINE with that, but I’m not too sure that everyone else is. I could do my birthday year and be completely content with it. But I think it might lose the flare after three birthday months.

JC and I are sitting here listening to J Holiday “Bed.” I LOVE this song. Let me tell you what else I love. I LOVE these songs:

PCD- When I Grow Up

Kelly Clarkson- Since U Been Gone (DUH)

Kelly Rowland- Daylight

Leona Lewis- Take A Bow

Lil Mama- Shawty Get Loose

Micly Avalon- Jane Fonda

T.I.- Big Things Poppin’

Pitbull- Go Girl

Three 6 Mafia- Lolli Lolli

Robyn- Who’s That Girl

Not saying that these are new and that nobody else knows about them because most people do. I’m just saying that I still love these songs. And more to come, but I’m all spent right now.

Oh, go see Stepbrothers! It’s freaking HI-LARIOUS. Two lines to listen for. “Hello there Miss Lady” and “Your voice is a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” Oh, and then “I Can’t even make eye contact with you right now” while you cover your eyes with your forearm. It’s funny. I took my pregnant little sister to see it and I was worried she’d pass or something from laughing so hard.

I got nachos with an extra thing of cheese and a Mr. Pibb. Not even the diet kind! Then this guy sits down in front of us with a pizza. Wow what a pizza this looked to be. And it was only $11! I spent $4.50 on a bag of chips and two cups of cheese. But they were heavenly chips and cheese. I’d spend that money all over again if it was as heavenly chips and cheese as those were. Amazing.

I had a lot of time to do a lot of soul searching last night. Chelsea was kind enough to ask me if I wanted to be a sub on the kickball team and I said yes. I couldn’t make last weeks game because my workday ended up being insanely long. But last night I went and I was early and watched a game and a half. I’d only played Sloshball before where the rules involve drinking and I don’t even remember what else, so I needed to figure out how this game worked. I still don’t really know what happened, but I know I was able to get on the bag twice. I kicked two times and got on two times. I rotated as catcher. It was the most fun I’ve had since Saturday night. Kickball is so much more fun than stupid football ever was. There’s not the playbook and all the pressure from the boys. There’s intro music as you walk up to the plate. My song was “Shawty Get Loose.” Duh. What else would I ever pick in a million years? It was a blast and then after the game everyone goes to a place to have a beer and sing karaoke. I didn’t expect to be welcome with such open arms. Emily, Summer and I did Run DMC’s “Tricky Tricky.” At the end of the song my shorts got pulled down. Thank goodness I was wearing my under Armour boy shorts because they’d have seen WAY more of me than they ever wanted to. I think I was definitely not the star of the song, but I tried. Maybe we can hold rehearsal or something for next week if anyone else is on board.

I left a little after 10:30 to go home, shower, and be in bed by 11ish. That didn’t happen. I’m rollin’ down the road (635 for the locals)to hit 35 north and go home. That worked just fine for like 5 seconds, but then the freeway comes to a dead stop. Not slow down. Dead stop and there’s NOWHERE to go. More 18 wheelers all around me than ever before. Even the emergency lane was full of cars at a dead stop. It took me 2 hours to go about 3 miles. I was dying. I swear my bladder gets smaller by the day and I felt it badly. I’m not lying when I say that I was sweating because I had to go so bad. But I couldn’t get over because there were big rigs all around me. I I won’t get into the details of this disaster anymore, but it was the most horrible two hours of my birthday month. Not really. The worst two hours would be more relationship oriented. But this was physically the worst my body has felt in a long, long time. Anyway, it was BAD. I rolled down my windows because I swear I was losing my mind and I could hear people around me yelling profanities because it was so insanely ridiculous. I was about to cuss right there with them, but I called my dad for a few minutes instead. That’s all that I need is someone egging on my tendency to get mad, so I rolled my windows back up and listened to “Shawty Get Loose” again because it’s still my happy song.

Speaking of relationships…I think I mentioned this before, but I don’t remember for sure. I find it so odd that Keith and I never date people at the same time. Like the day my last relationship came to an end, he had a “going  out” with someone. Now I’m sitting on the couch yesterday hearing kissy noises and it reminds me that I’m single again, which I hate but am OK with at the same time. I think I’ve been so mad about the way things ended in the last relationship, I’ve not really cared about moving on. I think Chelsea was right when we talked about this whole situation. I’m a relationship person. I like being someone’s other half. So maybe I force it. Maybe I need to focus more on relationships other than another half. Friends. Who knows…maybe the person I’m meant to be with is one of my friends? I don’t know. Maybe I’m so bad at the relationship thing that I’m supposed to be alone. I don’t know. And maybe I need to accept the fact that I don’t HAVE to know. Maybe that’s the beauty of it. People always say to take it as it comes, but I’ve never been one to do that. So I’m going to give it a shot. It might be a huge failure, but at least I know I tried.

I also have to figure out how to accept the fact that Keith is doing all of the things that I do when I start to date someone. So what if we all made plans…initiated by him…to hang out on Saturday? Now he wants to go to lunch with the love interest. I shouldn’t be pissed off at him. I should be happy that he’s happy. And I should be OK with the fact that he’s going to want alone time with the love interest just like I used to, only I’m going to give it to him. I don’t want him to have to tell me that he wants 15 minutes alone. I should be mature enough to realize that he’s got just as much right to wander the apartment as I do and I am going to respect that without his having to ask for it. I have to learn to ask for the same from him. I think that’s why I’m so pissy with him right now. I shouldn’t expect him to think the same way that I do and I might have to buy him lunch occasionally to have alone time. I don’t know. But I do know that I’ve got to figure out how to reign my temper in with him because I think I’m letting it get the best of me. I’d rather leave my apartment for 6 hours than listen to kissy noises right now. That’s bad. Not supportive. It makes me a bad friend.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ve buried myself in work and friends as much as I can and need to just learn to deal with the stuff going on around me. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Wish me luck!